


A Fashionista’s Guide to Dating Her Darling Princess Twilight Sparkle

by Greki



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: F/F, Magical Realism, darling - Freeform, dating guide, fashionistas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 17:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5936470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greki/pseuds/Greki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fashionista is always prepared. Doubly so in the matters of the heart. Thus must she make her own guide of The Way. Otherwise, she might just lose herself in the madness which is her marefriend.</p>
<p>Practical advice within.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Fashionista’s Guide to Dating Her Darling Princess Twilight Sparkle

First, know that two things must be always kept in mind:  


1) You must _always_ look fabulous, and,  


2) You must understand that your darling Princess Twilight Sparkle will _always_ be a bookworm.  


These two things must be always kept in your mind.

 

 

 

~~~~*~~~~

 

 

 

**A Fashionista’s Guide to Dating Her Darling Princess Twilight Sparkle**

 

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**1) Know that dating your Princess may involve a certain amount of… _awkward_.**

 

“So… have you ever… done _that_?”

Silence.

“What, exactly, you mean by “ _that_ ”, darling?”

“…”

“…”

“You know… kissing?”

“…”

 

 

**2) Seize your chance.**

 

A slow smile.

“Darling, there is sooo much I need to teach you.”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**3) Your Princess may try to ignore you in favor of those boorish books.**

 

“ _Twiiiiiiliiiiiiighhtttt…_..”

“Rarity, stop that. I need to concentrate.”

“ _Darliiiingggg…_..”

_Sigh._ “Okay, okay. I’m coming.”

 

 

**4) Poor delusional darling.**

 

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**5) If you find yourself sick, your Princess will make sure to learn and apply to you every single remedy recorded and known to ponykind until you are better. Make sure she does not kill you first. Do so gently.**

 

“Twilight, dear— _cough_ —that is enough. You’ve helped me more than I can say—”

“Don’t worry, Rarity. This medicine is guaranteed to make you better! Open wide.”

“I don’t think that—”

_Pluck._

“ _Oomph…_ ” _Gulp._ Swallow.

 

Snicker. “Tough luv, Rares. That’s all ye'll ever need.”

“ _Thank you, Applejack…_ ”

 

 

**6) Beware the friends.**

 

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**7) Your Princess may be prone to doing dangerous or reckless things from time to time. Please remain calm.**

 

“What were you _thinking_?”

“Well, the theory is—”

“Stop that. I know you are dedicated to your research, darling, but _explosives_?”

Sheepish, _adorkable_ smile.

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**8) You may be prone to panic or anxiety attacks if your Princess is injured.**

 

“This is The Worst. **Possible**. **_Thing!_** ”

“Chill out, Rares. It’s just a papercut.”

“I **_cannot_** _‘chill out_ ’, Rainbow Dash, when the love of my life is in such _pain!_ ”

“Rarity… it’s fine. It doesn’t hurt that much.”

“Doesn’t hurt _that much!?_ We’re going to the hospital!”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**9) Your Princess may be the most magically powerful being in Equestria, but you must be aware her dancing skills make Ditzy Doo look graceful.**

 

“Darling…”

“Yes, Rarity?”

 

 

**10) And you will not have the heart to stop her.**

 

“May I ask you for another dance?”

GRIN.

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**11) Your Princess may spontaneously combust from time to time.**

 

“Grrr... SPIKE!”

“Ahwaa-ha-ha-ah! _Twilight!_ Your mane is on _**fire!**_ ”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**12) You may at times need to teach your Princess about romance.**

 

“I have now studied all about dating, Rarity! Let me take you on a romantic walk.”

“Darling… _all_ walks are romantic walks.”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**13) Your Princess and her Young Dragon Charge may share similar traits and/or influence one another.**

 

“Twilight, that’s enough, darling. You have enough books. You’re hoarding them.”

“No, it’s not, and no I’m not. I have a _library_ , Rarity. I _need_ more books.”

“You do not need more books when you start using them as furniture. No more books, I said.”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**14) Be conscious that her Young Dragon Charge may or may not still be infatuated with you.**

 

_Sigh._ “Rarity…”

“Hello, Spikey-Wikey, how are you this fine morning?”

“Marvelous…”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**15) Your Princess may or may not accidentally give you a mustache. Do be gracious in your answer.**

 

“ _AHHHHHHHHHHHH!_ ”

“Rarity! I am sorry!”

“ _ **AHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_ ”

 

 

**16) Do make sure to point out the errors in her way.**

 

“Black? _**BLACK?**_ Can’t you see how horribly this clashes with my _mane!?_ ”

“Wait, whu--? So, you’re not angry I gave you a mustache?”

“Heavens no, dear. You gave me a fashionably stylish one, after all─and they’re all the rage in Canterlot right now, along with beards─but it’s just _this_ color! It’s completely ridiculous!”

“…”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**17) Your Princess may or may not have a checklist for kissing. Handle with grace.**

 

“Look, Rarity! You can even use your tongue!”

“…”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**18) You must remind your Princess that modeling is not optional.**

 

“I am not wearing that.”

“…”

“D-don’t look at me like that…”

“…”

“Rarity, I’m warning you…”

“…”

_Sigh._ “Fine.”

Coquettish grin. “Thank you, darling.”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**19) If you are going to swoon, please swoon _slowly_ , so that your Princess may be able to catch you. **

 

“Oh the calamity! Oh the **_horror!_** ” _Swoon._

“Rarity!”

“Oh~~ Thank you, Twilight. I feel so much better already.”

 

 

**20) On that note, you may need to dispose of your fainting couch.**

 

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**21) Your Princess will be prone to receiving status reports from her guards at the most uncomfortable of times.**

 

In a cozy booth. “PRINCESS TWILIGHT! There is an stallion---”

While cuddling in the Carousel Boutique. “PRINCESS! The mayor of—”

In the bedroom… “PRIN---”

_**SMACK!**_   “GET OUT!”

 

 

**22) On that note, do make sure to educate the gentlecolts on the proper times to bother Your Princess.**

 

“Do we understand each other, gentlecolts?”

“ _Squeeaaak..._ ”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**23) You must defend Your Princess’s honor at all times.**

 

“HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT HER?”

“W-wait—”

**_SMACK!_ **

“That will show him. _Hmph_.”

 

 

**24) Remember your martial arts.**

 

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**25) Your Princess’s pastimes may or may not include the dark, scary castle in the middle of the dark, scary and dangerous forest. This is especially notorious when you try to bring her a midnight snack for her midnight research.**

 

“Why does Twilight love studying in such an old, unappreciative castle in the middle of the—” _gulp_ , “—night?”

“Rarity—”

“ _ **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!**_ ”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**26) Your Princess may or may not attempt to write you poetry.**

 

“Pi is the equivalent of 3.14159—”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**27) Always remember, sometimes it is _necessary_ to knock your Princess away with your flank.**

 

“DON’T TOUCH THAT!” _Smack!_

“ _Ow!_ Rarity!? What was that for!?”

“This silk is a very rare and very unique article of clothing. It is made from _diamonds_ , darling.”

"...Aren't diamonds usually hard?"

" _Shush_."

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**28) You must realize your Princess may feel indignity at the most peculiar of times.**

 

“What do you mean you do not have the complete compendium of Quantum Physics: Concepts, Experiments, History and Philosophy by Daneigh Greenberger?”

“I-I…”

“ ** _Well?_** ”

“I… I don’t—”

“Darling, please let the poor dear _breathe_. You are suffocating him with your ambient magic.”

“Oh!” Sheepish.

“And please stop with the glowing eyes.”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**29) You must also realize your Princess needs to work on her sense of humor.**

 

“Do you know what seems odd to me?”

“What, dear?”

“Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.”

“…”

“…”

“Please, darling. Refrain from using math puns in the future.”

“Aww…”

 

 

~~*~~

 

 

 

**30) Above all: Always, always remember to love your Princess with all your heart.**

 

“Rarity? I love you.”

GRIN.

 

 

“I love you too, darling.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, it marks six a.m. and this was a sorta-spur-of-the-moment thing and-yet-not that I promised and wrote to commemorate my dear, dear friend Monochromatic whose stories are awesome and helped me a lot in dark times indeed. Go check 'em out and be happy.
> 
> I must mention the original idea of a dating guide was not mine, but rather thought up by wegglebots on Archive of Our Own, and which made my life easier in the process. Go check out his fics if you're a Legend of Korra fan.
> 
> For now, I hope you enjoyed this! I sure had fun writing it.


End file.
